When the lights go out
by Sralinchen
Summary: Emily lost her girlfriend and gets comforted by JJ. I hate summaries... Rating might change.
1. Chapter 1

**/AN/ This is my second story and my first story which will contain more than one chapter. I'm currently studying and my exams will start next week, so please don't expect regular updates. /AN/**

Angry. Afraid. Worried. In love with a wonderful woman she never wanted to go through life without. How was she supposed to handle work on monday? How would she be able to live her life like nothing had happened? She couldn't even breathe without her heart falling to pieces.

Standing in front of her bedroom window, Emily watched the rain pouring slowly. Usually she loved the sound of the raindrops falling against her window, but this time it wouldn't calm her. She was too upset. Her thoughts began to wander as she heard something crack.

She reached for her gun, which was obviously in her safe, as the raven-haired agent was in her own house. Who was that? Who could be in her condo? Emily slowly moved towards the bedroom door she had left ajar the night before. She peeked into the corridor. Nothing to hear and nobody to see. Suddenly she felt something creeping up her leg.

"Sergio!" she screeched.

"Meow." was the only answer she got from her black kitten.

"You scared me, little prince." Emily bent down to pick him up and received a happy purr as she began to pet him. She made her way towards her giant bed and lay down.

"You're really lucky. You don't have to worry about all those things."

As Sergio snuggled closer, the agent felt the tears building in her chocolate brown eyes. She didn't care. She was home alone and didn't have to put up those famous Prentiss walls. Her mind was empty and full of thoughts at the same time. Emily closed her eyes as the tears began to fall. It didn't take long before one could hear her sob. She cried herself to sleep as her body was too exhausted to stay awake.

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><p>Emily grunted and pulled her blanket over her head. She felt too tired to get up. Her dreams were haunted by awful nightmares and she didn't know how to stop them. Her body wouldn't let her wake up when the dreams hurt her the most. She sighed.<p>

"Good morning, Serg." The agent looked into the black eyes in front of her.

"Meow" the kitten rubbed his head on Emily's shoulder.

She smiled slightly. "I feel like you're the only one in my whole life who won't leave and hurt me."

Lucky for her, it was Saturday and she didn't have to go to work. She would have been incapable to, anyway. After getting up, Emily made her way towards the kitchen and started her coffee machine. While waiting for her coffee, she switched her TV on and zapped through several channels until she stopped at a random home shopping channel. She drank her cup of coffee and pet Sergio who had joined her on the couch. Nearly an hour went by before she decided to go back upstairs and take a shower.

The usually tough agent stood in the shower and cried her heart out.

_Why her? Why now? How could that happen without her noticing anything? Why hadn't Nicole come and talked to her about it? She would have helped her girlfriend through this hard time. Damn it! She was her girlfriend! She was supposed to help her. Especially when her own mother was the reason for all the grief. Her mother who didn't want to accept that her daughter was gay and really happy with Nicole._

Emily was so absorbed in her own thoughts that she didn't hear her phone ringing.

After stepping out of the shower, she immediately got dressed. She was still exhausted but she felt more relaxed than 2 hours ago.

Sergio meowed as his owner came out the bathroom door.

"Hey, Serg. You're hungry, right? Let's make you something to eat." The two of them went downstairs and Emily got her kitten's food.

She heard her phone chime and looked at it. She had gotten a text message, three calls and another one which went to voice mail. She opened the voice message first and was greeted by Morgan.

"Hey princess. We're going out tonight and we'll have some drinks. Don't you dare cancel on me! You're coming with us. The whole team is going. 8pm at our favourite place. See you there!"

Emily sighed. _She couldn't party with them all night. She was really not in the mood right now,_ she thought to herself while scrolling through her missed calls. Just like she thought, they were all from Morgan.

"I bet this text message is also from Garcia's adonis." She pressed "read" on her phone without looking at the sender and was surprised when she read: "_Good morning, my favourite female profiler! Maybe you already know from Morgan. We're going to our favourite bar tonight and I can feel that you would rather stay at home, but I need you. You can't leave me alone with our boys. Garcia will be on a date with Kevin and I would be on my own with them. Please join us, Em! I'll reward you for that. I promise! Don't disappoint me and I won't disappoint you! ;) JJ_"

_Damn. What was she supposed to do now? She would love to spend some time with her friends, but she just lost her girlfriend. Why was JJ such a good friend? It would have been easier if she hadn't contacted her. She could have easily found a reason to cancel on Derek, but with JJ messaging her - that was a whole new situation. _

"You're so lucky, Serg. You don't have to worry about other's feelings. What do I do now? JJ could handle our boys on her own, but she begged me to come. I don't want her to get mad at me." Emily told her black kitten who was still eating. She bent down to pet Sergio who began to purr.

"Do you want to say something?" she asked. The cat rubbed his head on the woman's knee and meowed.

"Okay, what are you saying? I am fluent in many languages, but yours is kind of unfamiliar to me." Sergio walked away towards her wardrobe and tried to reach her jacket.

"I've got a really clever kitten. But are you sure I will get through the night? Alive?"

"MEOW!" he sounded very serious. So, Emily got up from the floor and reached for her phone. She typed a few words and pressed "send". Although she instantly regretted it.

"Here we go. Seems like I'm going out tonight. Let's hope I will be able to repair my facade until then."

Emily hadn't planned much for the rest of the day. Most of the time she sat on the couch and watched TV while Sergio was sleeping on her lap. The time went by and she was able to put up some of her famous Prentiss walls.

When she looked at the time, it was already 7:25 pm. She decided to go upstairs and change. She had picked out a simple red tank top and tight dark blue jeans.

Emily left her condo at around 8pm since the bar wasn't far from her place. She entered the door and was immediately greeted by her friends.

"Hey, princess!" Derek called and hugged her lightly.

"Hey." she replied and put on a smile. She still didn't feel well, but she tried her best to hide her sorrow. That didn't go unnoticed by JJ who looked straight into her friend's brown eyes. She could tell that there was something wrong with the raven-haired agent. However, the blonde wanted to enjoy the night and didn't want to mention her observation today.

Since Emily was the last to arrive, they started to party right away. They laughed and talked about silly things. Some of them danced and Derek had fun flirting with some women.

Sometimes, JJ looked at Emily to check if she was alright. They were only two or three hours at the bar, but she managed to forget the recent events for that time. Yet she felt a sudden feeling of grief building inside her and she excused herself from the group and went outside. She hadn't noticed JJ following her when she let out a sigh.

"Hey, Em. Are you alright?" JJ asked and put her hand on Emily's shoulder.

"Yeah, everything is fine. I just needed some fresh air."

"Are you sure? I can tell that there's something on your mind." the blonde tried to push the older woman because she knew that there was no other way to get Emily to talk.

"Yes, it's just.." she tried to look away, but was held back by JJ who now put both her hands on Emily's shoulders to face her.

"Hey, look at me. Everything is going to be okay." JJ reassured her. Staring into the blue orbs in front of her, Emily spoke again.

"I.. it's..my.." she couldn't form the words she needed to say. Seeing the blonde agent looking ever so kind into her eyes, Emily burst into tears and slid down the wall she was leaning against.


	2. Chapter 2

**/* Sorry that it took me so long to update this story. I haven't forgotten about it. I'm back now and I have already started writing the next chapter. I promise that it won't take me another 6 months to update. **

****Enjoy**! */**

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><p>Kneeling down beside her, JJ studied Emily carefully. She had never seen her in this condition before. The older woman sat there on the cold concrete, legs bent and drawn up in front of her. She hugged herself around her knees and had rested her head on them. Crying and sobbing like this, she looked so broken and awfully hurt, so the blonde didn't hesitate to put her hand gently on the other woman's shoulder to silently comfort her and let her know that she would be there for her.<p>

"Shh. It's okay, Em" JJ soothed and began to run her hand up and down her friend's back.

They sat there in silence for a few minutes until the sobs stopped and Emily tried to wipe the last tears off her eyes with a shaky hand. She slowly turned her head towards her companion and blinked a few times before she cleared her throat and whispered something.

"I'm sorry."

JJ almost didn't catch the words. They were said in such a quiet way and the profiler's tone was so full of shame and guilt, it broke her heart.

"Oh, Em. Don't be. It's okay; really. You don't have to feel ashamed for crying. You are not weak because you show emotions. It's the other way 'round. You're strong because you're able to show them. People cry because it's their body's way to release stress, pain and also to express happiness. Please believe me when I say that you are _not _weak."

"Okay." Emily didn't sound really convinced but JJ knew that was the only answer she would get right now; here in these surroundings. She looked the older agent in the eyes and was happy to see no walls coming up behind them. She needed to use this moment and try to get her to open up later. She was concerned and wanted to know what was going on in her friend's head. She wanted to help her and show the normally private woman that she wasn't alone. That she could ask for help if she needed it and that there was no reason to be ashamed or embarrassed.

"Here, let me help you" JJ said as Emily tried to get up.

"Thank you."

They stood there for what felt like hours, but it was only a few seconds before the blonde broke the silence.

"Emily-"

"It's okay, you can go back inside. I'll join you in a few minutes" the dark-haired woman interrupted. She needed some time alone to sort out her thoughts and get her walls up to protect herself. She already felt bad because her best friend saw her break down and she knew that JJ wouldn't let her get away without an explanation about what had happened. She desperately wanted to avoid talking about it, but if she had to tell someone, she would be grateful that it was her and not Morgan or someone else. As much as she liked Morgan, she just couldn't let her guard down in front of him without worrying when he would tease her about the things she would have told him in private.

JJ started to say something but was again interrupted by Emily who could easily tell by the blonde's expression what she wanted to say. She sighed.

"I know, Jayje. I really know. We'll talk. Promise. But not right now, not today." What she was about to say next wasn't something she would normally say, but the past events had affected her ability to compartmentalize and the walls around her emotions had some really heavy cracks. "The others can tell when something's wrong and I won't be able to handle their concern tonight. I think I'll get back inside for a few minutes and then head home, okay?"

JJ knew when to push her friend and when not to, and now was the time to back off or she would never open up._ I just have to make her feel safe and comfortable enough for her not to expect any questions and maybe I can get her to talk to me, _she thought to herself. But to Emily, she said "Yeah, okay. But please accept that I'm not happy about it."

They went back inside the bar and JJ decided the moment she saw Emily walking towards the restrooms that she would get it out of her tonight, whatever it was that her friend was struggling with.

"Everything okay?" Reid asked as the blonde sat down next to him.

"Yep" she answered, although she knew that wasn't true.

"Alright guys, I think I'm going home." Rossi said as he looked over the crowded dancefloor. "Morgan looks ready to leave, too." he added with a slight smirk.

They all turned their heads towards where Rossi was looking, and laughed. Derek Morgan was surrounded by several women, but it seemed as if he was only really interested in one. Though he looked rather comfortable with all the attention he was getting. He briefly met their gazes and winked before making his way towards the exit with a woman in tow.

"I think I'll be heading home, too. Goodnight, Reid, JJ." Hotch broke the silence and he and Rossi stood up and left through the door just as Emily came back from the restroom.

"Where is everyone?" she asked as she reached their table where only JJ and Reid were sitting.

"Rossi and Hotch just went home. Morgan left a minute before them with some woman." the doctor answered and got up, too. "Actually, I'm going to leave, too."

"Oh, okay." JJ said. "Well, goodnight, Reid."

"Goodnight, you two." he waved at them and went for the door.

"Seems it's only us left, then." The younger agent commented as she turned towards her friend.

"Yeah, well. Since everybody's already gone..." Emily began as she stood up and put on her coat.

"No, wait!" JJ suddenly exclaimed, jumping out of her seat. She didn't want to let her friend go without trying to make her understand that she wanted to help her. "Please."

Emily, knowing exactly what the media-liaison was trying to do, briefly closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Listen, JJ. I really appreciate your concern, but I don't need your help." As she saw the hurt expression on the blonde's face, she added in a more gentle voice "It's not that I don't want your help. I.. it wouldn't do any good, to be honest."

"You don't know that, Em." The taller woman just smiled sadly and JJ took the opportunity to step closer and put a hand on the other agent's arm. "Please. I want to try." she almost whispered.

What was she supposed to do now? Emily was at war with herself. On the one hand, she desperately wanted to tell someone about her girlfriend and if that person was JJ, it was definitely fine with her. But on the other hand, she knew she wouldn't be able to talk about Nicole without crying. And that made her feel so vulnerable and weak; despite JJ's earlier reassurance that showing emotions didn't make her weak. She finally settled on the truth.

"I don't know if that's a good idea, Jayje."

"I think it is a _very _good idea. You know you can trust me, right?" The blonde tried to get Emily to accept her offer by showing her that she was her friend and not someone who wanted some gossip to share with other people.

"Yeah, I know." the older agent answered thoughtfully. JJ could tell that Emily was trying desperately to decide whether she should let her in or shut her out completely. Although she could sense that her friend was closer to accept the help instead of denying it, the liaison couldn't help but be surprised as she heard the raven-haired woman whisper "Okay."


End file.
